A MOUNTAIN
nancy caudwell
Recently, I have been longing for someone to bring me a
mountain.
The tallest one man can find.
I will climb this mountain for days and days.
My lips will crack as deep as the Grand Canyon.
My eyes will freeze shut.
I will struggle up this mountain, each step seemingly growing
smaller and smaller each day.
I will claw at the rocks and spit on the snow.
Life will seem too slow.
All time will seem irrelevant.
​
After years, I will reach the top.
I will look out, watching the bleak sky that surrounds me.
I feel all my bones break.
And as I stand on its snowy peak.
I will scream.
I will scream until my voice grows silent.
I will scream until my lungs deflate like an old air mattress.
I will scream until my throat bleeds scarlet and my tongue lays
limp.
I will scream until the anger leaves my body and until my fists
fall flat.
​
It may take days.
I will not leave that mountain until I can scream no more.
I will crawl back down this mountain, bones broken and voice
silenced.
Then, as my body falls exhausted onto the ground,
A man will walk up to my dying corps and say:
“She was just overreacting!”
MY LONELINESS GRABS MY WRISTS
My loneliness grabs my wrists and pulls me back,
It grasps my throat and places its hands over my bleeding mouth.
Before I try to struggle and scream my way out of the shadows,
With shaking hands and leaky eyes,
I accept the smoke as it fills my lungs.
The loneliness will live with me for a while,
Occasionally stabbing me in the chest,
Or blinding me whenever I attempt to see a spectacle of what my
life has become.
I lay in my bed as I felt my heartbeat beat in my bare hands,
Checking that I am still somehow alive.
My loneliness weaves around my veins
to create a blanket for me to hold.
This darkness that I cradle in my broken arms,
It will eventually consume my every waking thought.
It will grab me by the neck.
And we will become one.
I am Nancy (she/her) a 14-year-old writer from near Cambridge. I love writing and I have gotten into it a lot more recently! I am inspired by writers like Silvia Plath and Walt Whitman and one day I would love to publish a novel of my own. My favourite films are 'Dead Poets Society', 'Stand by Me' and '10 Things I hate about you. I hope that one day I will become a famous author but for now, I need to pass my school exams and listen to Elliott Smith over and over.